A Lyrical Masterpiece.

This could happen to you.

A lot of people might not know that Juliette Lewis, the super famous movie actress, is also in a cutting edge rock band. A lot of folks would think that her on stage performance is so energetic and free spirited. Her stage performance is full of violent jerking motions and Iggy Pop like contortions. But the sad thing is, it is not a stage performance, she has an affliction. Julliette suffers from Omphalo Spasmoltia. Omphalo Spasmoltia is a disease where the inflicted are obsessed with wanting to see their belly button, but when they try to look, the inflicted's brain tricks the muscles into doing the exact opposite of looking into your belly button. This has been know to drive people insane and drive them to commit suicide. (see picture)

This is what democracy in the Middle East sounds like.

Random thoughts: B.F.F.

Really, when making an acronym, could you us a worse combination of letters? This is actually worse than B.J. (maybe).

Fuck Me.

Not the "I want to be fucked" fuck me, but the "Goddamnit" fuck me. That's it.

The Answer: The Whiggery

Here and now, before God The Almighty and Bush (Boosh) Himself, I pronounce the establishment of the New Whig Party.

We will all wear mullet wigs and focus on the strengthening of OUR country. We will not play in the sandboxes of the world, only our own. The world will be a better place.

The Unity '08 party is a feeble attempt to achieve that which the New Whig Party will: True Democracy.

This is what it is like in the fourth dimension

The Shit Sandwich Analogy

The Shit Sandwich Analogy goes like this:
Disclaimer:This really only works when providing somebody with tough love or you need to let somebody know to suck it up and deal with it.

The shit sandwich is something we all must endure on a regular basis. Most people are regularly tasked with issues and situations that are hard to deal with on many different levels. These problems could have many different solutions to them, but all of the solutions suck. When two or more solutions could be used to solve the problem, but those solutions are both equally difficult to obtain,this is where the shit sandwich needs to be eaten.

You do get a choice in this not so pleasant tasting meal though. You may have your shit sandwich hot or cold.

When applied correctly, this analogy will shut up most people who are bitching about their job or personal situation.

The mechanics of the analogy go like this:
If somebody told you to eat a sandwich which consisted of bread, lettuce and shit, you would probably not eat it. But if you were told you had to eat it or else, would it taste better to you hot, or cold? Personally I have never enjoyed doody on rye, but I really don't know what would make it go down easier. Hot or cold, how would you eat it.

Sexy Bitches Pedestal

Behold! The Husqvarna Model# YTH20K46!

Three Wishes

Dude, I think you're on to something. The whole "three wishes" thing is a much better idea than the eight random facts.

My three wishes:

1. I wish I were you.
2. I wish I wasn't an elitist.
3. I wish I loved G-W.