The Shit Sandwich Analogy goes like this:
Disclaimer:This really only works when providing somebody with tough love or you need to let somebody know to suck it up and deal with it.
The shit sandwich is something we all must endure on a regular basis. Most people are regularly tasked with issues and situations that are hard to deal with on many different levels. These problems could have many different solutions to them, but all of the solutions suck. When two or more solutions could be used to solve the problem, but those solutions are both equally difficult to obtain,this is where the shit sandwich needs to be eaten.
You do get a choice in this not so pleasant tasting meal though. You may have your shit sandwich hot or cold.
When applied correctly, this analogy will shut up most people who are bitching about their job or personal situation.
The mechanics of the analogy go like this:
If somebody told you to eat a sandwich which consisted of bread, lettuce and shit, you would probably not eat it. But if you were told you had to eat it or else, would it taste better to you hot, or cold? Personally I have never enjoyed doody on rye, but I really don't know what would make it go down easier. Hot or cold, how would you eat it.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Three Wishes
Dude, I think you're on to something. The whole "three wishes" thing is a much better idea than the eight random facts.
My three wishes:
1. I wish I were you.
2. I wish I wasn't an elitist.
3. I wish I loved G-W.
My three wishes:
1. I wish I were you.
2. I wish I wasn't an elitist.
3. I wish I loved G-W.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Smoking Cigarettes
I have been a smoker since I was about 14 years old. I love cigarettes. There is nothing more appealling to me than smoking when it is cold, smoking while I am fishing, smoking after dinner, smoking while I am driving, smoking while I am waiting, smoking while I am pissed off, smoking while I am shopping, smoking while playing golf(that's a great smoke), and smoking in between cigarettes. Although I have quit on and off for the last few years, I can go months and months without a cigarette. When I go on a binge I will smoke so many cigarettes that after about 30 or so they get really fucking gross and actually hurt to smoke. I then get so frustrated that I can't fully appreciate the smoke and I get all stressed out and increase intake.
If I had three wishes, one of them would definitely be that I would never die from cancer that was related to smoking cigarettes. The other two wishes would probably be really stupid wishes that I would regret making.
If somebody powerfull enough, like a wizard or warlock, gave me the choice of either being able to become invisible at will or be immune to smoking related cancer and have an unlimited amount of cigarettes, it would be a very difficult decision.
Right now I currently not smoking. But I think about it alot.
If I had three wishes, one of them would definitely be that I would never die from cancer that was related to smoking cigarettes. The other two wishes would probably be really stupid wishes that I would regret making.
If somebody powerfull enough, like a wizard or warlock, gave me the choice of either being able to become invisible at will or be immune to smoking related cancer and have an unlimited amount of cigarettes, it would be a very difficult decision.
Right now I currently not smoking. But I think about it alot.
This is more gay than having a blog
Rules rules rules....
Random facts about TKY
1. I called my wife Paris more than three times when we were trying to procreate the other night. She responed everytime with " That's hot."
2. I smoked plastic with Bush Grande.
3. I have literally saved two peoples lives. Victim 1. Pulled e-brake and turned off engine of a late model Datsun that was perpindicular to four lanes of traffic on Highway 80, dude in car was having a siezure or some shit. He was wearing a Taco Bell uniform and had tons of cover up make up on that was all dripping off of his face Victim 2. Pulled a dude out of the American River. The douche bag was wearing jeans(black) and white trash sneakers. He was trying to swim accross the river. He was totally wasted. Didn't give a fuck, or realize, that he should have been dead.
4. I have seen every season of "The Real World"
5. I used to get all depressed and tear up at the end of The Incredible Hulk when Bill Bixby was walking to the next town all by himself with that fucking asshole Jack McGee on his tail.
6. My uvula has been streched for years and always feels like I have a lugee on the back of my tongue.
7. It stresses me out and pisses me off when I walk down stairs. I have to run down them.
8. I was pissed off at Peppermint because he thought I was impeding his artistic endeavor.That's bullshit.
Random facts about TKY
1. I called my wife Paris more than three times when we were trying to procreate the other night. She responed everytime with " That's hot."
2. I smoked plastic with Bush Grande.
3. I have literally saved two peoples lives. Victim 1. Pulled e-brake and turned off engine of a late model Datsun that was perpindicular to four lanes of traffic on Highway 80, dude in car was having a siezure or some shit. He was wearing a Taco Bell uniform and had tons of cover up make up on that was all dripping off of his face Victim 2. Pulled a dude out of the American River. The douche bag was wearing jeans(black) and white trash sneakers. He was trying to swim accross the river. He was totally wasted. Didn't give a fuck, or realize, that he should have been dead.
4. I have seen every season of "The Real World"
5. I used to get all depressed and tear up at the end of The Incredible Hulk when Bill Bixby was walking to the next town all by himself with that fucking asshole Jack McGee on his tail.
6. My uvula has been streched for years and always feels like I have a lugee on the back of my tongue.
7. It stresses me out and pisses me off when I walk down stairs. I have to run down them.
8. I was pissed off at Peppermint because he thought I was impeding his artistic endeavor.That's bullshit.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
F-ing Tag
1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
So, eight random facts about me.
1. I don't know eight sickening people who blog. I know three. They've already been tagged.
2. I have an insane nose thing where I constantly think I have shit hanging from my nose. Not real shit, just nose shit.
3. Sous was my official nose checker while we were living together; he has also unofficially served the position throughout our friendship.
4. I am a better driver than Walrus.
5. It's Bush's fault that I started smoking. He even gave me a cigarette case. It's his fault, I swear.
6. I like summer break because I am spending a ton of time with my son, but I am bored. I enjoy being extremely busy.
7. I am five chapters into a young adult novella that I'm writing. It could end up being an adult novella, but we'll see how sickening it gets.
8. My favorite word is sickening. This has been quite useful since I've had many sickening friends over the years and I'm the only one who seems to completely understand each one. That, in itself, is sickening.
See #1.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
So, eight random facts about me.
1. I don't know eight sickening people who blog. I know three. They've already been tagged.
2. I have an insane nose thing where I constantly think I have shit hanging from my nose. Not real shit, just nose shit.
3. Sous was my official nose checker while we were living together; he has also unofficially served the position throughout our friendship.
4. I am a better driver than Walrus.
5. It's Bush's fault that I started smoking. He even gave me a cigarette case. It's his fault, I swear.
6. I like summer break because I am spending a ton of time with my son, but I am bored. I enjoy being extremely busy.
7. I am five chapters into a young adult novella that I'm writing. It could end up being an adult novella, but we'll see how sickening it gets.
8. My favorite word is sickening. This has been quite useful since I've had many sickening friends over the years and I'm the only one who seems to completely understand each one. That, in itself, is sickening.
See #1.
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