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A-hole Web Designers are not Artists

Given said criticism on perhaps the greatest artistic achieve that has been gifted to man since Picasso, it is obvious that the “Angry White Man,” or should I say, in this case, “Web Design Guru,” has absolutely no connection with ART whatsoever in any way possible, both known and unknown to man.

That being said, Mr. Web Design Guru obviously overlooked the artistic nature of the page, the way it really sums up teen angst, puberty, and awkward moments with the opposite sex, all in a simple, yet effective design that he wishes he would have done first (but he is too busy dealing with some old Archie Bunker motherfucker who wants him to build him a website on housing or something). Yes, Mr. Web Design Guru is obviously disconnected from Art and has moved rapidly into what should be called the “H” dimension, the world of html. He lives and dies by the html code. In fact, he is even rewriting the “Pledge of Allegiance,” inserting html wherever and whenever he can.

That being said, lets all stand up and solute Mr. Web Design Guru for all of the wonderful gifts of html he has given the world.

How not to build a website

People with Downs syndrome should not be gangster rappers. A-hole teachers who build websites like monkeys with Downs syndrome should not be gangster rappers as well. There are a million free website templates available for such a-holes so they can build a proper site. Dreamweaver has templates, Photoshop even allows you to make a great working website, Downloads.com has a hundred free web publishing tools so you can easily build properly functioning web site. But certain lazy assholes, I mean a-holes, decide that scanning a fucking crumpled piece of paper and using a display type for large bodies of copy on top of said crumpled paper is a great idea and the easy way out. I have given this person tip after tip. I am like a fucking Visual Quickstart Guide for this a-hole. But instead of using the skills that he has acquired from the tons of extra hours spent taking classes on graphic and web design, he makes a website that basically uses whole fucking jpegs. What the fuck ever. People are dying from AIDS, wars, starvation, and liberalism every minute. People from Folsghanistan could build a better function site than this jpeg crazy asshole has done. Is there no future for this man? Is there no remorse in his sick & twisted mind. What fucked up deformed abomination will spew from his poisoned soul next. Hopefully not another two row mess with image maps for navigation bullshit web site. Fuck.

Mission Aborted

A true enemy of mine once said that I was mean spirited. He is a fucking asshole and I hope his life is filled with misery and bad karma. The fucker deserves it. I am mean spirited, and I have a right to be, my fucking parents are divorced and I was a latch key kid. That comic book guy deserves a nasty big spoonful of hate, just for being a monstrous douchey geek. But in a way I have to pull back on the reins of bitterness for, once. I have to commend him on his dedication to being a douchey geek. I wish I could be that into something and have a wealth of meaningless knowledge of what asshole wrote for SuperFag in 1983 and who inked Captain Chancre Sore in the Marvel comic this or fucking that. The closest I can come to that is my uncanny ability to link real life events to Brady Bunch episodes and have people look at me the way I look at this a-hole. So we must choose a more deserving target. The search continues.

The next target has been given.

http://the-isb.blogspot.com/

The Fourth (or is it Forth?) Dimension

Human beings usually perceive space as a three-dimensional space as long as they don't notice anything with high relative velocity. Three-dimensional space has a number of properties that distinguish it from spaces of other dimensions. It is, for example, the only dimension in which it is possible to tie a knot in a piece of string. Many of the laws of physics, such as the various inverse square laws, depend on dimension three.

The understanding of three-dimensional space in humans is thought not to be completely intuitive, and must be learned during infancy using an unconscious inference. The visual ability to perceive the world in three dimensions is called depth perception. This leads us to the fourth dimension: Cyberspace.

The "space" in cyberspace has more in common with the abstract, mathematical meanings of the term than physical space. It does not have the duality of positive and negative volume (while in physical space for example a room has the negative volume of usable space delineated by positive volume of walls, Internet users cannot enter the screen and explore the unknown part of the Net as an extension of the space they're in), but spatial meaning can be attributed to the relationship between different pages (of books as well as web servers), considering the unturned pages to be somewhere "out there." The concept of cyberspace therefore refers not to the content being presented to the surfer, but rather to the possibility of surfing among different sites, with feedback loops between the user and the rest of the system creating the potential to always encounter something unknown or unexpected.

That being said, in modern art, Cyberspace, said fourth dimension, is mostly used as a synonym for "virtual reality" and remains more discussed than enacted. Visual arts have a tradition, stretching back to antiquity, of artifacts meant to fool the eye and be mistaken for reality. This questioning of reality occasionally led some philosophers and (especially) theologians to distrust art as deceiving people into entering a world which was not real.

Before cyberspace became a technological possibility, many philosophers suggested the possibility of a virtual reality similar to cyberspace. In The Republic, Plato sets out his "Allegory of the Cave," widely cited as one of the first conceptual realities. He suggests that we are already in a form of virtual reality which we are deceived into thinking is true. True reality for Plato is only accessible through mental training and is the reality of the forms.Another forerunner of the modern ideas of cyberspace is Descartes' thought that people might be deceived by an evil demon which feeds them a false reality. This argument is the direct predecessor of the modern ideas of brain in a vat and many popular conceptions of cyberspace take Descartes' ideas as their starting point.

After careful consideration of the fourth dimension, it is obvious that it doesn’t really exist. At all. These words are not real. This blog is not real. The computer you’re reading this at is not real. In fact, it could be argued that you yourself are not real as well, but that is a discussion that only the fifth dimension can handle.

This is happening

There is this sort of inevitability about The Manwhich Machine. The genesis of this blog was basically born via immaculate conception. Two men can not make a baby. Some have tried. Cyberspace is the Fourth Dimension and The Manwhich Machine has proven it over and over again.

Cyberspace is the Fourth Dimension....

Cyberspace...Cyberspace...Cyberspace...Cyberspace.

The Manwich Machine does serve a purpose. An artistic endeavour that has really never been seen before, including right now. If a tree falls in Cyberspace and nobody is there to see it, does it make a blog? Yes. To answer your question. So everybody come on board the great cyberspace-coaster, come on board.

There is no malicious intent to harm or injure. Maybe to rip your brain out by the base, flip it around a few times, baby shake that fucker and porno style spit on it, but that's it. To make claim that The Manwich Machine prohibits the artistic pursuits of others, is just another excuse in denying that Cyberspace is not the Fourth Dimension. And that is just plain gay.

The Manwich Machine is art, don't be elitist and think it's not. Really don't,because two artists are making it. I am working on three paintings right now. Really I am, I will send you pictures.

THIS IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!